Happy Holidays!

And with that wish I include all of them at this time of year: From the feast of Santa Lucia to Hanukah to Christmas Day and Kwanza, New Year’s Eve and Twelfth Night or the feast of the Epiphany on January 6, they all have to do with darkness and light and pull us in to reflection. Remember that the date of Christmas, December 25, was established in Rome to counteract the pagan celebration of the winter solstice celebrated as Sol Invictus, the unconquered sun. For Christians it became the celebration of the birth of the unconquered Son of God.

I will be celebrating all of them—by myself—while complying with stay-at-home orders for Californians. It’s not unusual for me to be alone, but I would be less than honest if I didn’t acknowledge feelings of loneliness at times during these last nine months when it has been enforced, or chosen as the best way to care for myself. I am embracing the meaning to be found in it.

Nor would I be true if I didn’t recognize the benefits that have accrued at the same time. I’ve read some books that I would have missed otherwise. I’ve had some great telephone conversations with people I ordinarily wouldn’t have connected with in that deep a way. I’ve had time to write, both poetry and prose, and I’ve “attended” some wonderful webinars produced by very creative and thoughtful people. I’ve even made a new friend who brings something different and special to my life.

And I’ve had time to think. One of the questions I’ve found myself pondering is “What does everyone do with their time?” Time: We all have the exact same amount of it each day, yet we each fill it in our own particular way. For some, it hangs heavy. For others it represents opportunities. The wonder of individuality is expressed no more clearly than by the choices we make as we go about living each second of every day in our own ways. It’s so amazing to see that uniqueness play out.

Looking back at this year, I find it divided between pre- and post-COVID-19 times. Back in January I was helping to restore natural habitats as a member of San Diego Audubon Society. In February I was still enjoying going out for lunch with my lady-pilot friends on the second Tuesday of the month. I was all set to get on a bus in April and go for the day to the Huntington Library and Gardens in Pasadena. My book club was still meeting in person and sharing delectable comestibles along with our impressions and opinions in early March. Back then I would take my Sunday morning walks along the San Diego River Trail with binoculars held at the ready to see what birds were chirping or flying among the trees. Before California was put into lockdown, I was visiting stores without a mask on or being careful to maintain physical distance from my fellow shoppers.

Well, we have all made adjustments, and life has gone on. As an online activist, I’ve amped up my voice in support of a variety of causes. In August and early September I was a door-knocker for the Census, working my mobile home park and some nearby neighborhoods while wearing a mask. In October I wrote 200 postcards to addresses in Iowa asking people to get out and vote. Back in May, confined to my home and yard, I had the joy of observing a pair of Cooper’s hawks sailing through the “forest” behind my place as they feathered their nest for new chicks. And in June I prepared the ground for a “native” plant that I installed in October to enhance the foraging for other birds in my mini-ecosystem.

There’s no doubt that things are different though. Zoom has given us a whole new way of socializing, learning, and engaging. But so far there’s no way to experience the touches and hugs that were such a normal part of being with others. We make physical contact at our elbows instead of holding hands. Still, as I’m fond of saying, “Nothing lasts forever, and most things don’t last very long at all.” There is hope for an end to all this distance, separation, and caution. I pray we will all be better for having been through it. I leave you with a quote:

These are apocalyptic days, days of tragedy and terror and truth. When an effective vaccine is distributed and this pandemic is lifted, the worst thing that we could do in response is just go back unchanged to our normal lives.

The Christian Century, July 29, 2020, “After the Unveiling” by Martha Tatarnic, rector of St. George’s Anglican Church in St. Catherine’s, Ontario

So, from me today, stay safe and healthy to enjoy the new year and all that it has in store for each of us, and feel the change.

Connie